Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Is Real romance dead?

The past three years have not been good for a number of our friends--well, I guess that depends on which one you ask LOL.

I think we are now up to four couples whose marriages have ended in the last three years. And I'm not talking the under five year percentage either. I'm talking the over 15 and close to twenty years married percentage.

And we never saw any of them coming.

To be fair, we don't live close to any but have been in constant contact and/or the occasional visits so no, we don't know the day to day grind they went through, but still no mention during weekly telephone calls or anything. The last one just happened this weekend (hence the blog).

I know things like this usually have a 'build' for quite awhile--that's the part we don't see but still, it makes you worried. Is Real romance still alive or does it fade out and fizzle as life progresses? Do we marry with the blind thought that yeah, I'd like to make babies with this guy for awhile or sure, she'll do for now??

We're going on our 12th year of marriage and I'll tell you right now, if my husband came up to me and said it was over, I would be totally blindsided. We're not perfect, but still, we seem to work things out and accept each other for who we are etc etc etc. We have similiar thoughts and theories on raising our children, family etc and those haven't changed (although I think this baseball season is might affect that LOL as both boys are on house league and aiming for the rep league too, meaning most night this summer will be on a ball field)

I'm not overly worried at the moment though, not when my husband comes up to me in the kitchen, turns me around, stares me straight in the eye and says, "I love you. No, I mean I really love you," and gives me a big bear hug just before announcing the demise of the most recent friends' marriage.

I feel bad for them, I do, but I can't help being thankful that romance, at least in my home is still very much alive!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Old Movies and New ways of thinking

I saw a movie on TV when I was young, it was a 1950's or 1960's movie--sort of the Doris Day era. I don't remember the title but it was a romance (of course LOL) The gist was that this woman complained about her dates or finding the right man so her mother gave her a book--A How to Train Your Dog book--and suggested if she thought about men in the same way as training a dog, they would be 'lapping' at her feet. And it worked like a charm...until the boyfriend found out about the book and started a little 'training' of his own.

Needless to say, it was a hilarious movie and has stuck with me even ions later. And over the years, I found that the concept can be usefull sometimes, not necessarily the dog training (although, truth, that works too LOL) but mostly the looking at something that is driving you crazy from a total left field perspective.

For me right now, it's more of a three ring circus.

So I took that theory and went with it today. Instead of letting things control me, trying to perform acrobatics, climb through hoops and keep my balance on the tightrope, I hopped off, and started playing ringmaster. I smiled (ie previous post LOL) and kept things focused and moving in one direction--in one ring so to speak--before I let the light shine on the next ring.

And it worked--for the most part. I'm not saying I'll play ringmaster every day but for today, I came home without that shoulder-clenching stressful frustration. Without thinking of what I missed or didn't know, and instead with what I caught and what I was able to discover on my own--and the whole time making it look like I was in control LOLOLOLOL. But isn't that the secret to life right there--fake it to the best of your abilities!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

STRESSED!!!

Okay, that sums up the new day job, let's talk about something else, okay?

I'm already about half-way through my first draft of the Class of '85 story I'm writing. Tentatively titled Corvette Confessions. It's fun because things are still popping up about the era--take this moment for instance.

Our family loves music and we were just watching the top ten countdown on Much Music. What do they advertise for the next show--the Daily Show is having an all '80's day. Yep, the debate from my previous blog lives on--coincidence or the universe's amusement.

Not that I'm talking about the first subject again but I did read an article yesterday that in times of stress if you smile whether you want to or not, the endorfins in your brain or whatever chemical mystery the article talked about would alleviate the stress automatically. I'm not saying it works, but let's just say I was smiling A LOT today for no reason whatsoever.

So, everyone....keep smiling!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Flashback!

Sometimes I wonder if the universe really sends signs or if we are just more in tune to our environment at certain times.

Take this past week for instance. I've started working on a story for my publisher's series Class of '85. Well, I was the class of '88 so the time frame works for me. It's a fun story intermixed during an '80 dance at a reunion.

I've heard and/or seen more things from the '80's this past week than I have in AGES! I'm talking movies on TV, music on the radio and music stations I've watched for weeks on end without one Madonna video LOL. Yet, all of a sudden, there they are.

Is it the universe a) telling me that, yes, it is time to write this particular story and b) keeping me 'in the atmosphere' or is it simply my mind is so focused on that time period that I'm noticing it more?

I guess the answer lies with your choice of logic. Are you an open minded person or does logic run your life?

Of course, I'm a Libra so my scales of logic vs metaphisical imagination are always toppling one way or the other.

For now though, I like the thought that the universe is giving me the high five sign.